Bob’s Your Uncle. By Unzila Mati

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When was the last time Wile E Coyote, also known as the coyote in The Looney Toons get pranked? Somewhere in the 60’s, I believe?  Well…….. I got pranked, really hard, yesterday and it’s hard to believe how.

Brrrring! Went the school bell, time to go home. It was Math class when the school bell rang, however, I sat in the principle’s office thanks to Robert and Nick, my two good old friends from the first grade. They are real tricksters, for example, one time they deceived our Science teacher, into thinking that it was a holiday and that there was no need to come to school. Did it work? Sure did. Then, they pranked our school’s lunch lady into making spaghetti instead of a fruit salad and today they claimed they were magicians and cracked open an egg on our substitute teacher. Of course, they didn’t mind. But what did I do? Nothing. But the teacher sent me just because I was their friend. ‘Wasn’t that comic gold?’ asked Nick. ‘What are you talking about?’ I replied. ‘You know when we cracked open-.‘ ‘I know what you mean. How could you do that?’ I furiously questioned. ‘Chill’ exclaimed Nick. ‘It’s not that we got extra homework or did a hundred pushups or anything? ‘Oh, yeah, yeah, your right, there is nothing to be afraid of except being sent to the principle’s office while there is a risk she’ll call our parents and we might get to spend additional hours in school’ I sarcastically explained. ‘Come on Sally don’t be a sourpuss.’ 

‘I’m sorry, it’s just that I’m really stressed about my uncle. My parents aren’t home, they had to leave for a business trip to Budapest and now I’m the only one to take care of all the situation back home. I haven’t seen him for years, in fact, I don’t even know what he looks like. There isn’t anything I know about him. I was just 3 when I met him. However, I remember that when I got close to him, I felt this sense of safety and calmness and optimism.’ 

‘It’s okay Sally, we’re here for you. We are just one floor away from you. Anything you need, just call us and we’ll be right there.’ ‘Thanks guys, I don’t know what I’ll do without you. Oh! And sorry for yelling at you.’ 

‘No prob dude.’  

As we reached our flats and parked our bicycles, we would be greeted by the lovely staff and the fragrance of that 24 hour buffet. Things and people, like these would rid my mind of the hard days I endured. However, there was one dweller next door: My neighbor, who is a completely inimical, grumpy, mysterious figure who would seem to haunt the hotel. I don’t know his name though, in fact no one does, weird cause he has lived next to my parents for eight years. People just see him as Frankenstein: They don’t know what he is saying, is expressionless, just demands for one item, in this case his magazines and if he doesn’t get them then boy,  people are up for a big ride. Meanwhile, I made myself some lunch: mash potatoes and some vegan nuggets. Delicious! Did I mention I was a great a chef. Anyway……..

When I finished eating, I took out the rubbish into the dumpster. While I was there, I noticed something quite peculiar. Robert and Nick were by the dumpster, chatting to a silhouette. I shouted hello but they ran off as they heard me. That’s odd. I got confused and just tried to get rid of that image in my mind, so I went back, when I did, I met Robert and Nick again, this time entering Mr. Frankenstein’s unit. I was surprised because even they thought that he was creepy, then why all of a sudden? Quite suspicious if I’m not wrong. I went on a search to find out the truth.  I traced back my steps to the dumpster, where the guys were standing. I went back and found a clue: a purple pom pom that looked as if  it came from a boater. Strangely, I swore I saw this kind of pom pom before and I did! This was Mr. Frankenstein’s. My hypothesis was that the silhouette was Mr. Frankenstein’s. This pom pom could have fallen out of his boater. I continued to find out what was going on. I went towards Mr. Frankenstein and found a notebook and a pen under his mat that belonged to Robert. This time I had no idea what was going on. I knocked on the door, calling out for Nick and Robert. I was knocking when Mr. Frankenstein opened the door and I fell on his belly. ‘Sorry Mr. Frankenstein- I mean- Sir but is Nick and Robert here?’ 

‘They must be home.’ He replied. 

‘But I saw them come in your flat.’ 

‘Were you spying on me?’ He yelled. 

‘Spying? I just want to see if they’re here.’ 

‘Go home kid.’ It was at that moment I got my next clue. How did he know who they were. They barely came near my place, plus he’ll always be inside when they did come. Things are getting fishier by the moment. Speaking of fish, I had  to make dinner. It was 8 at night. I was eating my meal when I heard Nick and Robert. I was glad they were here. They were acting quite surreal. ‘Hi.’ 

‘Hi guys. May I know why you ran when I said hello.’ 

‘Forget about that, we have a surprise for you.’ 

‘A surprise? Really?’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘Okay……..well don’t mind if I do. So, where is it’ I said after 10 seconds of awkward silence and sharing a smile to each other 

‘Oh, yeah right sorry. Jack, we have to tell you something.’ 

‘What’s wrong?’ I started getting worried. 

‘Jack Bob’s your uncle’ said Nick. ‘Bob’s my uncle?’ ‘Yeah.’ 

Then with a dramatic pause, entered Mr. Frankenstein. ‘Wait, is Mr. Frankenstein my uncle?’ I asked myself. ‘Hey nephew’ said Mr. Frankenstein with a sympathetic tone. ‘Could it be?’ Out of the blue, I started crying because of a motive I didn’t know about until I realised that he lived with my parents for eight years, they didn’t tell me anything about it. Suddenly, everybody started laughing even Mr. Frankenstein. ‘You have been pranked!’ screamed Nick. I was embarrassed from head to toe. ‘Are you serious?’ I shouted with anger. They wouldn’t stop laughing. Slowly, Mr. Frankenstein came towards me. I was kind of scared if he would mock me or yell at me again except he just grinned and said that he was a prankster himself and that he left pranking a few years ago, he didn’t tell why. He said that he lost happiness when he lost pranking and eventually found it again when he tricked me. I felt really bad for him. I guess he wasn’t a freak after all. Oh, and the clues? Well the pom pom did belong to Bob also known as Mr. Frankenstein, same with the notebook and pen, they belonged to Robert to jot down his ideas to prank me but it wasn’t needed so he just put it under the mat for some reason, even though he could’ve taken it inside. I mean Robert is kind of silly and careless. It was at that epoch I lost my mind. 

‘But friends don’t do that’ I said. 

‘See Sally Nick replied ‘that’s the thing. We are more than just friends: You’re the pasta, Robert’s the cheese and I’m the sauce. The cheese and the sauce need to add some spice to the pasta or it will taste dull. You need to relax and be easy.’ 

I chuckled and I need to be careful now. 

About froebelianwriters

I am an English Language teacher teaching O'Levels Edexcel and CIE A Levels at Froebel's International School, Islamabad. I am also working as a Subject Specialist Literacy consultant for the same school. Writing and reading has always been a passion and I try my utmost to instill these habits and hobbies in my students as well. I can be reached/contacted at fabbas227@hotmail.com or 03365287335 Happy reading!

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