Once Upon a Time by Shamel Mujtaba


Once upon a time, a group of weird friends were just chilling one day, playing videogames and eating pizza. That’s not important. Whats important is what happened after.

It all started when one of the friends threw a towel on the other. The other got up in a heap of exhaggerated fury and demanded an apology as if he was in a movie. The thrower simply responded with an over-casual, “No way José. (hozzay)”. The other’s mouth swelled up to an impossibly huge size, he shook his head right and left while waving his arms in such a way that they appeared to be caterpillars flying around as one end was attached to a moving plant. Then he pulled out a little stick and spat some gibberish. Instantly a green light burst from it and sent the thrower flying diagonally upwards as if he was pulled up by an invisible jet. He also made a sound that sounded like a retching-cough hybrid.

Another one of the friends leaped off the couch doing a cartwheel, pulling out the big-daddy of all Nerf guns from nowhere. It was a miracle he was even able to lift the orange monstrosity – it must have been half his own body weight. He began waving his tongue around making some strange noise that sounded like : “Ayayaaa”. He then began to fire the weapon that looked remarkably like a hot dog. The little harmless sponge pellets burst out, impaling the other and sending blood flying everyplace imaginable. The recoil must have been too great, because the attacker gasped as he slowly veered upwards as he was crushed under the tremendous recoil and weight of his own weapon.

Another friend immediately dumped his remote controller, threw on a lopsided  metallic red and yellow  Mexican El Macho wrestling mask and jumped for the wizard, while shouting, “Joooooooohn Ceeeeeeenaaaaaa!”. The wrestler belly-dived the wizard, flattening him like a pancake. That made the most iconic splat sound  imaginable. After successfully flattening the wizard, he did some strange body flexes, that were completely inappropriate as he lacked any form of muscles whatsoever. He was a flexing water-balloon – doing the ‘bolt’ pose like he just won the Olympics for the tenth year in a row.

Of course he was deemed unworthy of this stance. We was impaled by a blue light saber only half a second later by another ‘friend’. “You were the chosen one!” He shouted to the el macho-john cena hybrid, who was now a grilled el macho-john cena hybrid. The wrestler fell to his knees and whispered, “john cenaaa.” Then recreated the same splat sound heard earlier with his face and belly

At that moment the attacker with the Nerf gun somehow recovered, wisely replacing his oversized nerf cannon with a set of more manageable weapons. Spinning the two smaller nerf revolvers like a cowboy from the old west on either hand – who was wearing a tee shirt and jeans – he threatened the jedi. “Now you die boy”. He must have been spinning the revolvers far too uncontrollably. One flew gracefully above his head – doing hundreds of backflips before landing on the fake cowboys head. And so the indestrucable cowboy was knocked unconscious by a bright orange half-kilo toy gun with lethal potential. The Jedi stood there uselessly the entire time in speculation of the amazing failure of the professional under-dog.

The jedi stood there in the wake of the destruction that was initiated by a towel. Ignoring all the dead bodies, he simply skipped over to the torn and burnt couch and resumed his strictly non-violent  videogame.

About froebelianwriters

I am an English Language teacher teaching O'Levels Edexcel and CIE A Levels at Froebel's International School, Islamabad. I am also working as a Subject Specialist Literacy consultant for the same school. Writing and reading has always been a passion and I try my utmost to instill these habits and hobbies in my students as well. I can be reached/contacted at fabbas227@hotmail.com or 03365287335 Happy reading!

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