Dorothy had just finished her work and was going home from her office. She was an accountant who had a rather bad habit of staying late in the office, when everyone else had left. Since the office actually ended at 3pm, she left sometime at five or six for home. She packed her bags and prepared for the half-a-mile walk ahead of her. Boarding the elevator, she began her descent to the ground floor, then began the long walk home.
As she walked on the streets she noticed some rather queer sights and instances.
She looked in a dark, menacing alleyway. There stood two figures, and one was holding a gun to the other.
“Gimme all yer Tacos!”
“I don’t have any Tacos!”
“Gimme dem Tacos or I’ll blow all dem crisps outa yer brain!”
“I don’t have any crisps! But I have yogurt. Do you want some?”
“No! I need ‘em Tacos!”
“I don’t – Oh excuse me.” He picked up his phone that was ringing the Macerena. “Yea Mum? Oh no ya I got eggs too! Oh no! Is little Timmy stuck in the well again? Oh no! I’m coming!”, He then looked at his assailant, “Little Timmy’s stuck in the well again, so I gotta go – Bye!” He then skipped away.
The other blubbered some nonsense then threw down his pistol, “It ain’t no fun mugging chaps here no more man!”
He then stomped into the darkness, muttering something about how hard Tacos were to find These days.
“Hmm…”, Dorothy thought thoughtfully.
Then she noticed a stout vendor screaming as he tried to sell some toilet seats.
“50% off! Good quality! Branded! Easy on your sensitive touchie! Comes with a supersoft toilet roll free!” The dwarf looked at a man who was about to pass. “Hello Sir! Are you in Dire need of a High-Quality toilet seat? Well – “
“Not interested and dont need it!” The passerby interrupted. The vendor looked at the man’s behind as he passed. “I think you really do mate.”
The passerby turned into a fuming tornado of fury and charged at the Vendor, waving his arms so incredibly randomly it was astonishing how he didn’t poke his own eye out. Then he entered an intense slapping competition with the vendor.
Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack!
“Buy your dream toilet now!” The vendor shouted to a confused passerby mid-slap.
“Hmmm…” Dorothy thought thoughtfully.
It was impossible to not notice the ancient vehicle speeding down the street at rather phenomenal speeds. The car looked just like Lizzie from Cars, and It appeared as if Lizzie now had McQueen’s engine. What was even more queer was what the people who had boarded the perilous vehicle were doing.
“Newspaper!”, a man hanging out of the vehicle shouted as he threw a newspaper. The thing was he was throwing hundreds of newspapers in every direction with no particular pattern.
“Newspaper! Newspaper! Newspaper!”
One of these landed right on Dorothy’s unexpecting face. The title read,”Ne w pape
Cop e s run ou of Ink! Wil t ere e Cons q ences ?”
The joyriders had made It apparent that they were over-wage paperboys, as the company they worked for did not have any shortage of fuel. Or engine parts for that matter. As they zigzagged down the street nuts and bolts flew here and there from the sputtering engine, as it gasped and wheezed for rest. The engine’s protest did not stop the joyriders as they took extra joy in being chased by three modern police cars, sirens wailing. “Stop in the name of the law.” was repeated on a loudspeaker continuously. This was responded to by a, “Newspaper!” and one such article on the windshield of a police interceptor with a bang.
“Hmmmm…” Dorothy thought thoughtfully.
As two passer-bys strided passed her she could easily hear what they were saying. In their attempt to be heard by each other during the intense car chase, they were in fact-shouting.
“What are the facts, Detective?”
“So far we know that Leslie told Mindy told Sarah told Daphnie told Dora that Velma signalled Alex who Sarah told Michelle who sent a letter to Leslie to un-friend Emma, Who had earlier told Sarah to ignore Mindy in order to do the same.”
“A most queer situation.”
“It gets better Watson, So I contacted Emma who gave me her letter, after investigating that I found out that it was actually forged by Alex who wanted Emma to be friendless because Emma’s Father’s Uncle’s Grandson’s Daughter’s Son’s Cousin actually dated Mindy!”
“What! So this must mean That Alex told Velma that Emma told Sarah that she was jealous of Mindy?”
“Precisely Watson. This can only mean one thing : That Mindy told Dora told Dorothy told Leslie told Sarah that Alex blackmailed Mindy to pretend to take Sarah seriously so Mindy would feel more alone.”
“Excuse me, But no one told me anything.” Dorothy interrupted.
The detective jumped with surprise and hit a nearby lamppost headfirst. He lost his consciousness then and there.
“Thank you so much! I owe you a huge debt!” The other said, shaking Dorothy’s hand rigorously. He then turned heels and sprinted away from the stunned detective. Dorothy was left startled. She began counting on her fingers, attempting to keep up with the information.
“Hmmmmm…” Dorothy thought thoughtfully.
Then She noticed the Third vendor of the day. Except this one was far more successful than his peers. Guess what he was selling?
On his rather small and insignificant cart, oversized letters presented, “Bob’s Quality Tacos” Eager eaters lined up for one reason alone, “First Taco free!” The Vendor called out. Now the eager eaters turned into a raging mob. They surrounded the little cart as if they were invading a foreign castle, all shouting what dressings they wanted their Tacos to have.
It was not long before this mob in fact carried the little cart across the street in the same way they would carry a stage-diving rockstar. The cart turned, did several backflips and bobbed up and down. The confused vendor rode his cart-surfboard hybrid in a desperate attempt not to get thrown over. He may have succeeded as well. Until a Taco crazy person dive-bombed the cart from several stories up a neighboring highrise, knocking the vendor into the sea of hands. This figure’s battle cry echoed throughout the town and shook the foundations of every building there. “TAAACOOO!”
He landed with a bang, knocking the vendor off and crushing the little cart into a pancake. “Awwww.” the crowd moaned. They let the cart drop with a clang and dispersed. Only the dive bomber remained. He held up a rather deformed Taco like it was an Olympic trophy. “Finally!” He shouted, “I got one of em Tacos!”
His victory was short-lived however. Just as the Taco descended to his open mouth, an eagle dive bombed the Taco, clawing at it and carrying it into the sun.
“No! Not again!”
“Hmmmmmm…” Dorothy thought thoughtfully.
Finally Dorothy found herself in the countryside. Her home was getting closer. Perhaps now her normal life will resume?
Not so fast Dorothy.
As she walked, she saw a cow on the side of the road. The cow looked right at her, and said,”Meow.”
Dorothy frowned. She decided it was better to let the meowing cow be.
Then she heard a voice that was all too familiar.”Newspaper!”
This time Dorothy ducked just in time as a newspaper flew over her head. The ancient little car sputtered and gasped past, just managing to move a few meters away before it decided it had had enough. Just as it stopped a spotlight shone on it. This was that of a police helicopter. An army of police cars halted behind lizzie and a group of SWAT trucks blocked its path ahead. A tank drove over the grassy meadow on either side of the car. Swat teams exited their trucks with riot gear and large guns, pointed directly at the little car.”Step out of the vehicle or we will use aggressive action.” a commanding voice boomed over a megaphone. The police cars sirens blared red-and-blue, wailing deafeningly.
Dorothy wisely ran around the confusion, leaving the SWAT and police forces behind.
“Isn’t that a tad bit much?” she thought to herself.
But her thoughts were interrupted by a shout.
“I’m coming Timmy!”, The man who could have been mugged shouted as he bolted towards a nearby well. Without wasting a second he leaped in.
“I’m here Timmy!”
“No!” A voice from the adjacent well chimed in. “I was in the other well!”
“Now we’re both stuck!”
“Help!” They both screamed in unison.
“I really need to change towns.” Dorothy said to herself.
Finally! She had arrived at her destination. The weirdness was over! Now all she had to do was-
And a truly ruined taco dropped right in front of her. She looked down at it and frowned, then looked up to see a rather unhappy eagle who had lost his lunch before eating it. She quickly shot a look behind her to see if the taco crazy mugger was charging at her. Fortunately no one was there.
Dorothy didn’t trust that that would remain the same for long and leaped over the desolate taco and into her house, slamming the door shut. Not too long after she heard a voice from outside. “Finally! I got me taco back!”
Dorothy put her bag down and slumped on her couch.
“Wow!” She thought to herself. “What a strange day!”