We rushed past white tiles and people in aprons and masks. They were talking secretively amongst themselves, eyes us as they knew exactly why we were here.
I ran up stairs and down hallways; the clicking of my sister’s heels besides me and the silence swift of my brother on my other side. We knew which way it was- of course-we had been here far too many times for everything to be okay.
My hand closed around the puppy I was holding, brushing against his silky fur, trying to keep him from shivering. My eyes burned coldly. My fingers tightened.
“Daniel…” Isabelle made me look at her. We had the same blond hair, except mine had actually turned sickly pale.
I grinded my feet into the ground, my shoes choking a ‘squeak’ sound. The door on my right was brown and small; however, it held the heaviest moment of my life behind it. The silver sticker pasted outside the door said ‘Dr. Pearson’. I hated hearing her name now.
I grabbed Bruno tighter. I was sure the pug knew what was coming. I could feel it in the way he buzzed. His big eyes looked at me, shivering and pleading, like large brown teardrops themselves. My heart twisted and knot and churned. I felt faint sweat glazing my forehead, but I didn’t show him any of that, as he was a little angel. So he should be treated as one.
I pulled my lips upwards in a smile, though I was sure it didn’t reach my eyes. it couldn’t….
Shane opened the door, and we went in.
After this, my memory went hazy. Doctor Pearson greeted me with numb words, and after seeing it didn’t change my face, she took Bruno from my hands, I felt her pull out my soul, carelessly cut out a part of it with rusty scissors, only before shoving it back in. I felt nauseous and light headed. My cheekbones felt swollen from the rusty friction I felt in my throat.
Isabelle hugged me and Shane grabbed my shoulder. Though the warmth of her head under me and the reassuring of his hand was unable to take out all the needles I felt pierce my heart, heart that had fallen low enough to be buried.
I saw Bruno’s eyes turn towards me again and I broke.
I ran out the room to shake that out of my head or somehow get away from what was happening. I could feel him whimpering after me, and I could hear it even as the door went ‘thud’.
I couldn’t see what was happening, but I felt it as if my leaving made no difference. I felt the needle cut through his skin, as if it had gone through my own. I felt him fall as I myself fell on the ground.
And worst of all?
I felt him looking around for me. Wishing I was next to him, praying even. I felt gravity pull at me more like little fishhooks. I wasn’t with him at his final moments, just like I wasn’t with him at his first.
I broke down crying.